Lecture: Don’t hate on the next women - “I’m your sista, why are you acting like that”
Instructor:Professor Jai
February 26, 2009 |
This particular topic was a little difficult for me to write for two reasons. The first, I didn’t want to repeat the same things you’ve heard before and second, although we know bringing each other down is wrong, there is a slight possibility we may slip and do it again.
So instead I have a couple of questions I want you to ask yourself
1) Why am I using my energy to hate on this woman?
2) What is she doing that’s making me hate on her?
Before you answer these questions, I want you to read Maya Angelou’s definition of a hater:
“A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall. They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever good enough!”
In my past lecture, I discussed checking yourself and admitting your faults. So when you see a woman and you’re about to put on that mean face to fix your mouth to say something negative, I want you to STOP. Before you say “What’s up with her” I want you to say “What’s up with me?” That woman you’re about to hate on could be YOU.
I’d like to end my lecture with something one of my Spiritual sisters sent me and I keep it close to my heart. Women are carriers of life, not the channels of death. Let’s build and encourage each other as did Ruth and Naomi. Who are we to judge each other? They judge Mary Magdalene and by the time Jesus was done with her, she was his closest follower.
Women, putting each other down will not make you feel better about yourself.
Be Well!!
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Lecture: "Take care of your kids, she didn’t do it alone"
Instructor:Professor L. Middleton
February 25, 2009 |
Hello all and welcome to "Take care of your kids, she didn’t do it alone" class. I hope you find this lecture very fulfilling and knowledgeable.
We began today by talking about why it's pertinent to be responsible fathers to our children. As an African - American male who was raised by a single mother in The Bronx, New York, I can attest to the invaluable life lessons that my brothers and sisters missed out on growing up without a positive father figure in our lives. Perhaps we would have developed a balance of a two parent household which could have enhanced our present parenting skills. My mother did her share through thick and thin and we are forever blessed for that, but where was our father? The person that my sisters should have been jumping into his arms, the person that should have been there talk to and teach my sisters the importance of protecting their hearts and souls from some of those males who prey on young hearts that they would encounter in their early lives. Where was that male figure to take his sons to the ball park, take his sons to Central Park or better yet teach us how to be sensitive and respectful to our female partners in our early years?
TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS, SHE DIDNT DO IT ALL ALONE!!!!!!
Brothers, I think it's only right that we try our best to overcome the "baby-momma drama" and step up and be role models for our children. I know how it can be tough dealing with some women who seem to want nothing but the worse for you in your life once things don't work out. Brothers, we are hurting our future by not being there and overcoming the mess. Let's began to become more aware of ourselves as positive men. NO ONE IS PERFECT, but let's work on helping our children more by getting back into their lives!
"Take care of your kids, she didn’t do it alone."
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Lecture: Be able to Provide 101
Instructor:Professor Munn
January 4, 2009 |
Hello all and Welcome to "Be able to Provide 101". I hope you find this lecture very fulfilling and knowledgeable. We begin today by talking about......what it means to provide.
Let us start with the basics. There are many ways to be a provider. Don't get caught up into what someone else believes you should or shouldn't be doing. Whether you are gainfully employed or not…You still can be a provider. No money??…give your time (ie: taking your child to the park or giving mom a few hours of peace). A provider is thoughtful and creative.
Let's stop making excuses for the things we should be doing without being asked to do it. Self motivate yourself to make sure you are doing everything in "your means" to provide for your family regardless of money.
In closing, I would like to add that this is not an easy task. Outside forces will be against you, but if you do all that you can then your conscience will be clear and your efforts appreciated. Next step…find employment!
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Lecture: Recognizing your faults 101
Instructor:Professor Jai
January 4, 2009 |
"Hello all and Welcome to Recognizing your faults 101. I hope you find this lecture very
fulfilling and knowledgeable. We begin today by talking about "Checking Self".
Have you ever wondered why a specific thing always happens to you? Or why you may attract that same type of person all the time? You've chatted with your friends or family to try to make sense of it. Maybe you even prayed on it and asked God for an answer. You've probably heard a little and maybe ignored signs because you didn't want to hear it. And this voice tells you, "maybe it's me". Well it might just be YOU. Admitting is the first step to checking yourself.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not implying that you are the blame for everything that happens. If you see a pattern of the same thing happening too many times, it's time to step back and take another look. Admitting your flaws can be a little difficult and maybe emotional and coming to terms about your flaws can be a bit much. After you admit it, then you Identify. This step should be done by yourself, although you may want to ask people for their input. Who knows you better than yourself? If you prefer you can make a list, an honest no hold bars list. After you make that list, throw it away; memorize the list. Throughout life you can't always go back to that list to remind yourself what you need to do. Identifying will take you a moment. As I mentioned before it's not easy, you may learn something about yourself you have been denying for a long time. After you identify, Accept. Remember, a perfect person doesn't exist and everyone has their flaws. Accepting is telling yourself, "enough of the nonsense, I need to make me a better me". This step shouldn't bring you down. Its the opposite, it's taking you higher.
Checking Yourself is an on-going task. The more you make a conscious effort, the more consistent you will be. And yes, this should be used for all aspects in your life. It's all about taking a moment before you act. Will your flaws go away? Honestly some will and some won't but the difference is you're making an effort for them to cease and your finer qualities to shine.
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Lecture: If Your Baby Daddy Has Moved On, So Can You.
Instructor:Professor Jefferson
December 4, 2008 |
Hello everyone.
Welcome to “If Your Baby Daddy Has Moved On, So Can You.” I am Professor Jefferson and I hope you find this lecture very fulfilling and thought provoking. We begin today by talking about taking that next step in your life.
Relationships of any kind are hard to shake out of your system. There are the photos, the gifts and the memories. Most of these things you can put in a box and dump it in the trash. However, in our situation you are left with a constant reminder in the form of a child. No matter what they said in Nebraska you cannot give it back or drop it off somewhere. In the majority of these situations we end up with custody of the children and the fathers continue their lives without the constant responsibility of raising a child. That alone can be an issue of contempt but we can take the lead and go on as well.
Erykah Badu’s song “Bag Lady” comes to mind when I think about this issue. Why do we carry such a load? These days most bags are made with wheels to make it easier for us to carry. But should we really invite more than we are willing to bear? Emotional baggage is dangerous because like actual luggage it can break us down and lead to several other issues that will impede progress. Looking at someone whom once declared that he would die for you walk on with the next woman is hard to bear but so is that bag. Ladies put it down.
I know it is easy to say but just start by downsizing. Look at the contents of your bag. What do you need? What can you do without? What is just taking up space? Take inventory on your emotions and see how you can lighten your load. Remember Jacob Marley from, “A Christmas Carol”? He wore all of those chains in death for all of the evil he did in life. That’s baggage. Imagine lugging that around everywhere, emotionally. Every time you met a nice person you couldn’t let them in because your heart was guarded and your bags wouldn’t let him get close.
I may not know each and every individual situation but I do know there is a reason why the relationship ended. Feeling betrayed because of the time invested is natural and seeing someone else benefit from all of your hard work is worse but it is ok. All of that energy spent on him can be spent on you. That’s where it should have gone in the first place. I try to live my life enjoying the experience of meeting new people and trying to take something from it. If you attack any situation in this matter it will make you a well rounded person in the end.
I can relate because I found myself at the end of an eight year relationship with a six year old child and one on the way. I was devastated with the way it ended but it was harder to bear with the way that he seemed to move on so easily. This caused me to realize you can’t argue by yourself neither can you save a relationship that way. I can admit that I was hurt but after looking at me and finding what I thought I lost in the trials of love, I found a way to move on.
The father of my children is now married to a nice lady and they have a son. I have not yet taken the plunge and I am not even in a relationship but I can tell you that if I focused my time and energy on, why couldn’t he get it together for me? I would never be the mother I am today or the person I am for me. Being bitter is not conducive to a peace of mind. This ordeal gave me a chance to take a real good look at myself and find out what I really wanted from life; what I could do to make me happy. His happiness should not evoke bitterness because it is no longer about him. It’s about you and how you are going to be like a Phoenix that rises and rebuilds. Your happiness will cause a better relationship between you to raise a well adjusted child.
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